DEAR JACK,

Figurehead

2008-04-21T01:11:00.002-04:00

No jester-face, no harlequin but the prettiest side of the Hidden King

Watch your face though its only half see what makes us smile see what makes us laugh

The tip of the iceberg the front of the sail and the flag on the mast

We watch as we sink we were warned ahead you’re so much more that that

The gavel comes down you’re what its about you’re what it’s about

Figurehead, cannon, figurehead, cannon, figurehead, captain and judge.

Pestilence, famine, war, flame, evil all and just the same.

Children’s thoughts brought only fitting thinking you were only kidding

Even demons do your bidding! We are sitting still still sitting.

Full of love full of joy just and true…

The tip of the iceberg the front of the sail and the flag on the mast

We watch as we sink we were warned ahead you’re so much more that that

The gavel comes down you’re what its about you’re what it’s about

Figurehead, cannon, figurehead, cannon, figurehead, captain and judge.

Oh captain my captain

Arguous

2007-08-14T19:28:00.000-04:00

(This song seems so short,
but most of it is instrumental,
and the parts that are sung,
are sung REALLY slowly...
((Hence the name))... )

I don't have what you're looking for.
I won't ever make nice or do right.
But I can make you smile when you're sad.
And If I'm home in time, I can hold you and kiss you good night.

I don't have what you're looking for.
I won't ever be able to feed us.
But I can make you smile when you're sad.
And If I'm right, I'm sure that should be enough.

I don't have what you're looking for.
I won't ever pay for your clothes.
But I can make you smile when you're sad.
Oh I hope I'm right cause if I'm not... I'll be alone.

Silver-As-The-Stars Hearts Black-As-Pitch Very Much

2007-08-13T03:01:00.000-04:00

Silver, silver, silver, silver,
silver, silver, silver, silver
Hands that save, saved by grace,
Grace by faith graced my face.

Tracking back as fast as I can;
As fast as my past can carry me.
And I need a One-Eighty so bad
I can smell and taste all the faith I lack.
I would burn alive to turn inside.
Outside my eyes can see my life
Spiral round and round a helix, a spiny
Polygon of truth and lies.

Silver, silver, silver, silver,
silver, silver, silver, silver
Hands that save, saved by grace,
Grace by faith graced my face.
Hands as black as pitch I have
You let me go as I turn back.
So blessed am I by our contrast
You love me more than I could grasp.

Watch the stars, silver, shining.
From behind bars your silver lining that
Tells me "Well, It's All Okay" but I
Have never felt at all that way.
So I try and try to dry and cure
The tears I've cried not noticing you're
The only one who's bright and pure...
Silver...

Silver, silver, silver, silver,
silver, silver, silver, silver
Hands that save, saved by grace,
Grace by faith graced my face.
Hands as black as pitch I have
You let me go as I turn back.
So blessed am I by our contrast
You love me more than I could grasp,
So thank you.

The only one who's bright and pure
Who cares enough, who loves me whether or not I
Feel the same...
And now I think I...
Feel the same.

Silver, silver, silver, silver,
silver, silver, silver, silver
Hands that save, saved by grace,
Grace by faith graced my face.
Hands as black as pitch I have
You let me go as I turn back.
So blessed am I by our contrast
You love me more than I could grasp,
So thank you... (for that)

Pondering

2007-08-13T02:45:00.000-04:00

Can I reflect your infinite love?
Is my dirty mirror clean enough
to show the world a spirit so full,
that it shines their windows broken and dull?
When I do this am I pleasing,
trying to distract you, faking, appeasing?
"(Oh my God!) I worship myself?!"
If so then this treason-
Is only within me by my own reasons.
Whether feeding the flock, or greasing-
the wheels, the remedy remains a grateful releasing!
Oh, cast me not to that burning desert
Life without purpose saved to pervert-
your plan, without flaw or break in it.
This opportunity to give you the glory, I've taken it!
I'M FAKING IT.
Each time I've "got it right" I've honked my own horn;
Repeating this ritual ever since I was born.
(Boy I'm pleased with myself)
I'm attempting to praise you, try to be selfless.
All that I do? I simply embellish-
and ruin the words, on my own I'm...
JUST HELPLESS.
My intellect alone is nothing to please you,
In all that I do I'm ever beneath you.
The way it should be, yet I'm still me,
The object of your affection rejects what he sees!
Oh, hideous man, despised as disease;
Deserved of the void, equal to fleas.
Only... I'm adored and am blessed while I'm also infected.
The Lord calls my name,
His righteousness,
"ACCEPTED".

Myself, My Own

2006-08-31T13:05:00.000-04:00

A loose lost way
Is my path.
Myself, my own.

My walk is pathetic
Feeble and frail
Am I on my trail,
Alone, on my own.

So I have no chance,
I’m defeated.
Unraveled so sparse,
Tossed and scattered.
Don’t let me let me let me let me
Don’t let me let me let me.
Care for myself, my own.

My walk is pathetic
Feeble and frail
Am I on my trail,
Alone, on my own.

Pray For Silence

2006-08-12T12:08:00.000-04:00

Burn scorching, to my cleansing.
Step right into my arms, let me hold you.

You’re just as far as my voice can reach you
Holding your ears keeping secrets safe from
Reality in your own head darling.
Reality in your mind.

Spirit safe and sound, lie to yourself.
Grip your heart and pray for silence.

Stay for now, stay forever.
Let our past bind my lips… to yours.

I plead when you hear me my words are solid
God, let them strike the strings in your soul
Girl I will tell you straight and honest
You and I, we were meant for this one moment.

Spirit safe and sound, lie to yourself.
Grip your heart and pray for silence.

Out With it Now

2006-08-01T12:32:00.000-04:00

This is truth. This is me.
This is here, now, the windows are clean.
Glance inside. Peer. Stare.
Fixate on me listen up good, and care.
From inside your heart the world looks great
But there’s no way out. I’ll suffocate.

Lock your one sided door.
What a nice double standard we’re wearing today.
Hand me your baggage, your handfuls of trash,
And hope that I won’t give it back.

Have you no sympathy?
Will you just tap the glass? Will watch and not feed?
Glance inside. Peer. Stare.
Fixate on me listen up good, and care.
Don’t sigh and don’t cry. This’ll all be over soon.
Hell hath no fury like a boy- on the phone- in his room.
I leave me alone to brood.

The future is fighting
Say it soft, say it smooth.
It’s kicking and screaming
Say it fierce, say it cruel.
Don’t make me hurt you.
By saying I love you.
Don’t make me hurt you.
I’ll say that I love you.

Lock your one sided door.
What a nice double standard we’re wearing today.
Hand me your baggage, your handfuls of trash,
And hope that I won’t give it back.

Your Pretty Little Song About Loving You

2006-07-31T05:50:00.000-04:00

I’ve got an urge
Break my hands up .
Chew my fingers
To a blood red pulp.
Make a tight fist.
Knock myself out.
I’m sick of this.
Knock…

Lovely pretty little thing,
You’re in my head and you make me sing.
Ugly, angry little things,
Keep coming to my mouth and it makes me scream.

Turn my neck hard.
Kick the front door.
Throw my guitar.
Make myself sore.
Tear my eyes out.
Make myself sick.
Doubt doubt doubt,
Sick sick sick!

Lovely pretty little thing,
You’re in my head and you make me sing.
Ugly angry little things,
Keep coming to my mouth and it makes me scream.

Cracking my ribs and breaking my teeth.
I Love you so much, do not blame it on me.
Its not my fault, I don’t think it assault
If you cant find the words. I just make it hurt.

Yours, Mine, And Yours

2006-06-29T06:53:00.000-04:00

The fingers on you.
Cold, disarming, go ahead bite in.
Look through the skin,
straight to the bone.
we were a team werent we?

Don't badger me to change my tone.
When you're the one
who weasled out on me.

This is how you truly feel?
Have I been pretending?
Why? Were you a part of this too?
No, no. this delusion was my own
I'm in this fight alone
and all along you've known it to be true.

But I Won't Cry

2006-06-14T03:19:00.000-04:00

When you called yesterday you sounded pretty#

(Uncompromised by)#

What I thought was a connection to be happy for

We quickly wound up on some topics I have be#en

(Topics I am not up# on)

And uglied both our voices# with the lies we’ve lived

(Both our voices cracked and crumpled)

Oh well, I shoulda seen it coming

I, I know who to not beli#eve

(Biting back my honesty# im not you and you’re not me)

We cant we cant

Hang up the phone walk out the door#

(Open up, and start the car#)

Sit and blink alone all by myself, just like before

Get up get out slam it shut#

(Lie on the driveway#)

Lie to myself

This is not that far from# hell

(Helping me get over you#)

You’re no truth

Oh well, I should'a seen it coming

I, I know who to not beli#eve

(Biting back my honesty# im not you and you’re not me)

We cant we cant

I cant fight for your attention

I wont cry or even mention

What you do#

(Screw# up)

What you do to me

Urgent

2006-04-20T07:15:00.000-04:00

Did it occur to you, one of us could die today?
Did you stop to think, of what we’re putting off?
Can you answer me without getting weepy?
If we’re so in love, why are we apart?

The receiver starts to pop and snap.
This connection is anything but clear.
You hear my voice cracking on its own accord.
But you tell me there’s nothing that your hear.

Every life’s a book and yours is looking empty.
Every page I turn, there’s nothing there to see.
Have you been erasing it? Or tearing all the pages out?
Where do you put them; would you please just let me read?

Did it occur to you, one of us could die today?
Did you stop to think, of what we’re putting off?
Can you answer me without getting weepy?
If we’re so in love, why are we apart?

Ponder this.
Take your time.
It’s important, most urgent thing I know.
Are you waiting, or only wishing?
If you’re lying please just let me go.

Did it occur to you, one of us could die today?
Did you stop to think, of what we’re putting off?
Can you answer me without getting weepy?
If we’re so in love, why are we apart?

Because one of us could die today.

Monstrosity

2006-04-20T07:11:00.000-04:00

Find me a messily kept, fleshy death, with your breath, kill the pest.

Build me a beast with its wings on its legs,
With two horns on its hands and knife in its neck.
One ugly eye, pale, devoid of life, hail
Splendid creation from its teeth to its nails.
Give it no skin to hide its heart from plain view.
Wait, give it no heart! Better, give it to you.
Hooves on its head, no brain ‘cause it’s dead so
You can be sure, you can know it won’t grow.

Monstrosity,
Without point or purpose to be.
Atrocity.
Without point or purpose to be.
Monstrosity,
Without point or purpose to be.
Atrocity.
How you love me.

Hack it apart without remorse or regret
Swing with that axe swing it hard with intent
Scratch at it, pine, just pick out its spine. Trust
Me this will be over if you give it some time. ’Cause
It was meant not to be, if you try you can see.
If you try you can see, look real hard cause it’s me.

Monstrosity,
Without point or purpose to be.
Atrocity.
Without point or purpose to be.
Monstrosity,
Without point or purpose to be.
Atrocity.
How you love me.

William Wallace

2006-01-24T18:51:00.000-05:00

Does it take you a long time?
To realize you screwed up?
Is there a special- dark green alleyway
Or a spot in the shade where you think best,-
Strictly rethink what’s- the worst in your bones
Just to pity your dismal alone?

Do you ever feel broken,
Stretched and forgotten?
Dropped cold by the ones who once loved you,
Straight trapped and cornered.
And nobody hears you
There’s no one to scream to.
Well this is the way that I’m feeling,
Drawn out and quartered.

Do you do it on purpose?
Make me sit down and write this?
Force me to bleed- all these sinister things
From my black jealous veins, just spill it all out-
Pace down the hall at- a lonely snail’s rate.
Can I have just a short break?

Do you ever feel broken,
Stretched and forgotten?
Dropped cold by the ones who once loved you,
Straight trapped and cornered.
And nobody hears you
There’s no one to scream to.
Well this is the way that I’m feeling,
Drawn out and quartered.

Are you like the giant sun?
Do I revolve around you?
If you are do- I even have a choice?
If I am is my voice making you it?-
I swear I’ll make you quit- turning my head,
While I’m lying here.

Do you ever feel broken,
Stretched and forgotten?
Dropped cold by the ones who once loved you,
Straight trapped and cornered.
And nobody hears you
There’s no one to scream to.
Well this is the way that I’m feeling,
Drawn out and quartered.

Cornfield

2005-11-16T01:44:00.000-05:00

Jenni,
I dream,
I’m evil
And It seems
That Jenni,
I’m falling,
And crashing,
And hurting.
Jenni,
I’m crying,
And Lighting,
You’re burning.
You’re burning.

As I’m feeling the sting on the back of my neck
From the mingling of heat with the salt of my sweat
The steam rises up from the grief and regret
Then I mix up every thought of all my love and her death
I watch the hearse driving by and I’m stricken with guilt
Then it boards on the ship with the men in their kilts
Her ashes they fly, they sink and turn into silt
Then I cry and scream inside it should’ve be me that I killed

Jenni,
I dream,
I’m evil
And It seems
That Jenni,
I’m falling,
And crashing,
And hurting.
Jenni,
I’m crying,
And Lighting,
You’re burning.
You’re burning.

My friends all disowned me and I went to the gate
at the side of the road by the farm where we’d wait
To talk out our pains and our angst and our hate
We’d try to throw feelings away but we threw rocks in their place
I wasn’t with her, no this time she’s not there
Or at least so it seemed and a truck was parked square
In the spot where I’d sit and it didn’t seem fair
So I started chucking all the stuff in the back straight through the air.

Jenni,
I dream,
I’m evil
And It seems
That Jenni,
I’m falling,
And crashing,
And hurting.
Jenni,
I’m crying,
And Lighting,
You’re burning.
You’re burning.

Just as a black jug of oil was streaming down from the sky
I saw she was in the corn field all alone as she cried
I told her to move but damn she didn’t reply
The jug struck the powered fence and the sparks started to fly
Then the field it caught fire and her cries filled the air
I tried run save her but the farmer was there.
He cranked on my arm and slurred gruffly of jail
I was made to watch her burn to the dirt as she wailed

Jenni,
I dream,
I’m evil
And It seems
That Jenni,
I’m falling,
And crashing,
And hurting.
Jenni,
I’m crying,
And Lighting,
You’re burning.
You’re burning.

Releasing An Entire Cave

2005-09-14T23:45:00.000-04:00

Washing joy right out of me.
Press me sinking in my seat.
Wrenching like a falling tree, down.
Cracking bones and shifting weight.
Abience of wrath and hate.
Abandonment may I please trade? Now?
Orphans come and know my face.
What's done to them is your embrace.
What will empty spaces place? And how?
Softly chewing on my lungs.
Staring at me like a gun.
Abandonment have I become. Coward!

Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept.
Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept.
Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept
you spinning in my arms, we'll surely fall.

Spitter vipers come to fear,
whispers from forked tongue to hear.
Detaching from me crystal clear glass.
Sever ties and ligaments.
Broke or dull you're sharp like splints,
dashed to bits, my wrists you slit last.
Slay your secret, slaughter me.
Nostalgic childhood pets to keep.
A teddybear is put to sleep. Fast.
Turning tables burned away.
No more games by speech will stay.
All is farther than I, say, grasp.

Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept.
Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept.
Your cave was cool, was dank and wet,
and my mushrooms in your head kept
you spinning in my arms, we'll surely fall.

Five Hours 'Till Morning, & The Fringe Of Your Hair

2005-09-03T01:54:00.000-04:00

You step out the car, I've wished for you every hour.
Better than my hope your smile doesn't disappoint.
The fringe of your hair confirms what I stretched to feel.
My arms around you and I'm not guessing, or waiting.
These comrades of yours could not build a house out of pancakes.
But we're both here and working these dark early hours anyway.
You have me right here in the woods most alone and impressed.
You have what you want but my heart aches for more and no less.
Our foreheads are close and your heartbeat is near to my chest.
I can stare for all night in your eyes while your worst is my best.
This morning advances its stance from the back of the trees.
I'll stay up alone for tomorrow ruins all. I'll kill everything.

The Day You Gave Me Rabies

2005-08-22T12:59:00.000-04:00

No I can't I won't will not let this slide.
I will not let this feeling go.
Don't try to calm me down this time because
At last I have my rage completed.
It's all your fault and not entirely mine.
I won't let it cool or dissapate at all.
With this fire you lit, I can burn you up
I can hate you fully, you're defeated.

I broke out of the trap you set.
I'm less likely to win but give me a break
You can't crush me so effortlessly.
You won't get away. Beware of dog.

If I see you this time I'm running you down.
Stop me. Just try and see if I care.
The choke chain has been broken,
And to me there is nothing, no hope and no reason.
Theres blood dried cruelly striped on your face.
You tried to ignore it but then came the sound.
The screaming around you, the waves of its anger.
The grinding of everything you set in motion.

Feelings overtake me. I think no more.
I'm less likely to win but give me a break
I'll sing what I feel and scream what I hate.
You can't get away this time.
Beware of Dog.

Tonight I Lied

2005-08-11T02:42:00.000-04:00

Tonight I lied to you again.
It’s like I had to. You’re just that pretty, and your spirit’s oh so strong.
I know it was wrong.
I’m letting you live out a life, where I’m still well in your eyes.
But those were all lies.
I’ve burned myself now I feel alive. I’m hiding from you. The truth, me from you.
It’s just what I do.
Don’t just lie there again. Don’t let me leave you lying there like you’ve been. (Like you’ve been.)
Don’t sit there and grin. Don’t sit there and grin.
I’ve lied to you again. Lied to you again.

I tell untruths for the feeling.
I’m safe now. It’s like I’m safe now.
Letting you in is surely death when:
It’s not the same for you. I can’t tell you the truth.

Tonight I lied to you again.
I feel my face change. But you don’t see it; nothing you’d ever know.
It cannot be so.
I gave you no truth. What I told you on the phone is what you wanted to hear.
Phone to your ear.
Please let me tell you. I push for the truth but it’s stuck in my mouth.
I’ll perjure myself.
And tell you the only love I have is that of a friend’s. It’s not of a boy who’s love-struck.
And this is my luck. This is no good luck.
I’ve lied to you again. Lied to you again.

I tell untruths for the feeling.
I’m safe now. It’s like I’m safe now.
Letting you in is surely death when:
It’s not the same for you. I can’t tell you the truth.

Let’s pretend I’m not in love for this evening.
Blah blah blah, it means nothing.
You didn’t hear me out at all; weren’t listening
To my adoring sighs. Now all you’ll hear are lies.

Your Oblivious Self Centered Love

2005-07-20T14:22:00.000-04:00

I cannot stand how you torture me, how you walk on me. When will you let me breathe?
My fist is tight. I can hardly see. My eyes are fighting sleep, and I can hardly keep
Myself under control.
You are so delicate my mind can’t handle it. You beat me near to death, your hands immaculate.
So hard to love in others eyes but I can’t compromise. I won’t betray your lies.
I’m going to hold my own.

The beautiful faker,
She made me I hate her.
It’s mind numbing and forcing me to see you as you are.
Trump up you own case.
Give your side its own face.
Forget my love, abandon ship, and leave nothing in my place.

Perhaps you could sometimes be wrong. I know it’s odd, but give it thought.
Don’t you dare lose sight of anything. That includes the ring that I may someday bring
To you on bended knee.
Please let me in. I cannot pretend that I am content with this connection.
The very life that you feign means everything, you treat like worn debris,
And I won’t let that be.

The beautiful faker,
She made me I hate her.
It’s mind numbing and forcing me to see you as you are.
Trump up you own case.
Give your side its own face.
Forget my love, abandon ship, and leave nothing in my place.
The beautiful faker,
She made me I hate her.
It’s mind numbing and forcing me to see you as you are.
Trump up you own case.
Give your side its own face.
Forget my love, abandon ship, and leave nothing in my place.

Leave nothing in my spot.
There’s nothing left to watch. (x2)
Leave nothing in my spot.

Fourth Of July Fantasy

2005-07-15T18:49:00.000-04:00

I want to see your face by mine in the mirror.
I want to hold your hand as you ask for my number.
I want you to be my girl and let it all go,
Just as you kiss me deeply and never let go.
Don’t stop now I don’t want you to! And I’m not a child.
I’m not a broken heart to fix, it’s mine and I’m proud.
I’ll sing more songs if you want me to but don’t mind the sound,
I’ve never known just quite how to say how I love… “Not allowed”.

Tell how you want me in the palm of your hand.
Let everybody know that what you want you will get.
Break the silence violently and send out your song,
Like the ones that I’ve been writing you for years all along.

I want to see your face by mine in the mirror.
I want to hold your hand as you ask for my number.
I want you to be my girl and let it all go,
Just as you kiss me deeply and never let go.
Don’t stop now I don’t want you to! And I’m not a child.
I’m not a broken heart to fix, it’s mine and I’m proud.
I’ll sing more songs if you want me to but don’t mind the sound,
I’ve never known just quite how to say how I love… “Not allowed”.

Call me then in the summertime, and we’ll go someplace.
Somewhere out of the open, but with plenty of space.
Startle me twice… I don’t care right now.
We’ll stare at the sky, and promptly lay down.

I want to see your face by mine in the mirror.
I want to hold your hand as you ask for my number.
I want you to be my girl and let it all go,
Just as you kiss me deeply and never let go.
Don’t stop now I don’t want you to! And I’m not a child.
I’m not a broken heart to fix, it’s mine and I’m proud.
I’ll sing more songs if you want me to but don’t mind the sound,
I’ve never known just quite how to say how I love… “Not allowed”.

Can you smell the barbeque's unoriginal flare?
There is the smoke, now we’re getting somewhere.
Watch my fire, watch my coals, watch me burn.
Listen closely because now we will learn.

I want to see your face by mine in the mirror.
I want to hold your hand as you ask for my number.
I want you to be my girl and let it all go,
Just as you kiss me deeply and never let go.
Don’t stop now I don’t want you to! And I’m not a child.
I’m not a broken heart to fix, it’s mine and I’m proud.
I’ll sing more songs if you want me to but don’t mind the sound,
I’ve never known just quite how to say how I love… “Not allowed”.

No Way To Dream

2005-07-06T03:13:00.000-04:00

Shuffling along in my room by my bed,
I contemplate kissing you softer instead
Of holding you tightly with no room to breathe.
I'd spill something hot on you just to be seen.
I wait for that moment I'm touching your hand,
Then turn away rapidly as if you’d command
-ed my arms to be cut off for breaking the law
Of the queen whom I stand before or rather I crawl.
Oh I swear this is no way to dream.
Coffee shops have long lines I’d rather talk.
Or sip on your lips while I grasp for a rock
To knock myself back into reality,
And sit by my bed wiping blood with my sleeve.
Counting my toes, which are there on their own.
I know there’s no reason for lengths they have grown,
Except for impressing you or just making you laugh.
The same reason I have more hair on my back
Than you on your head or between my eyebrows.
Can't we go out later to tip over cows?
Oh I swear this is no way to dream.
Head back to the basics of just you and I.
Exasperate answers to questions and lies
That we've told each other to try and seem cute.
Perhaps I should have taken better grasp of you
When you had a choice between me and whom you would choose.
I step aside for the ten millionth time.
Then spin back abruptly and get back in line
With the horses and monkeys, gorillas and boys
That must have spent less time with you than their toys.
And rich-men with muscles, who tend to beat me,
While using my crushed bones to pick at their teeth.
I wait in line patiently here to hold you,
And think of why I might have a chance with you.
Oh I swear this is no way to dream.
Your silky dark hair with no flaw but its shine,
That blinded me when I saw it the first time.
A pink star stands out sharply from black paper ground.
A star does not shine but it glows all around
And lights up the black paper world without fail.
I must have been dreaming to think I could bail
Out on this paper world for no reason at all.
I'm only a blue star of ink twice as small.
But at least I've a friend who can show me the way.
I fumble for words to ask you what to say.
Then recant my blunder as quick as I slipped.
I shoot for your heart with my soul but I've missed
Out on letting you answer me whole-heartedly.
I spit out my pain and all my jealousy.
It flows down the drain to the sewer and back.
Then asks you to pet it and jumps in your lap.
Oh I swear this is no way to dream.
Hold hold me tighter I don’t want to see.

Gray Utterances

2005-07-06T03:12:00.000-04:00

Forgiven all these deeds are / are not.
Not to be the type to stay shocked
Twisting in my shell I cry. I bleed, I scream, I weep.

Please my dear, do not awake from this dream I am dreaming.
Please just hear the blue aura of severance I am breathing.

You’re this girl that I found with the guide of God’s hand
To pick me up off my face and let me live his commands
The glowing mist of those around you leads on to how I might
Have taken grip onto your heart and thus I fervorantly fight
For all that’s good in this world. You’ve taken me by surprise
And started giving out my kisses and let them float towards the sky.
Now diamonds turn to gravel in the pit of my stomach.
I feel the turning of the tides has come from one of those among us.

Please my dear, do not awake from this dream I am dreaming.
Please just hear the blue aura of severance I am breathing.
Forever haze of gray. Forever hues of gray.

Now I’m praying to The Lord to take you out of my dreams.
I don’t want to think about you. You don’t know what it means.
When I say that I love you, and I want to be happy,
I don’t want to let the mood get all stupid and sappy.
Because I see with both my eyes and I can make out the picture
Of these two giving souls getting older together.
And sunsets in Nebraska with our kids by our side,
I want to know you love me too and not just there for the ride.

I don’t know whether to love you or let you go.

Please my dear, do not awake from this dream I am dreaming.
Please just hear the blue aura of severance I am breathing.
Forever haze of gray. Forever hues of gray.

Forgiven all these deeds are / are not.
Not to be the type to stay shocked
Twisting in my shell I cry. I bleed, I scream, I weep.

Forthright

2005-06-21T15:27:00.000-04:00

Here we sit, I’ll scoop you right up in my arms.
I’ll not lose this feeling not now.
The world, has stopped it’s spinning for now.
And you’re all mine Just for me.
We know how alive these souls are inside.
“I’ll kiss your spirit you dove.”
Intertwined whilst we lay out our feelings at night.
So life’s worth my time clearly.
Whispers of what thoughts are created by smiles.
Almost tasting your beauty inside.
Boy and girl, concede to our hearts as we cry.
You’re holding me fast in my dream.
Touched by clouds.
Your eyes have lit up like the stars.
I’ll bring you them all in a cup.
The pain’s gone. Won’t have to stay here so long.
The mist of a year fades from gray.
Softest voice, I’ve longed to hear it this way.
No longer a lost little child.
You’ve grown up, but still kept your youth as a skirt.
And you wear it in your special way.
We love, we cry, we sit.
We have and we hold and it’s this.
You’re you. I’m the boy with new hope and I know,
that we’ll still be this close every day.

Political Romance

2005-06-19T04:10:00.000-04:00

A rose falls to the floor for a bit from his lips, when you move to hold it, it dries up at the tip.
Take a gander at this parchment piece its a fact, its my love its the truth I was caught in the act.
Fortune, fame, and fruitless gain are all he’ll ever mean. It's a scene to be seen with his words so pretty.
And just like the president when you want to reach him you cant cuz he's gone. Vote for me!

(It’s amazing)
How far we will go, to pretend that we know
(who we are. what we want.)
Amazing.
(It’s so gruesome)
How close that they dance, congressmen and romance
(when loves not what you’ve got.)
So gruesome.

Dancer

2005-06-19T04:02:00.000-04:00

I can see you dancing in my head.
Spinning round and round.
All I can do is smile,
For this muse that I have found.
But your not real. I cant touch you.
I cant feel...for me...
Just breathe, just be.

Do you want to throw me now, I think youve done just fine.
I have a question, are you only in my mind?
You see it's like youve never existed.
It seems as though you're only a figment.
And I dont wanna know why I bother.
Am I crazy, does this reach farther?

I can see you dancing in my head.
Spinning round and round.
All I can do is smile,
For this muse that I have found.
But your not real. I cant touch you.
I cant feel...for me...
Just breathe, just be.

I try to keep praying now, is she the one for me?
Again one question, Am I losing sanity?
You make me feel a milion tons lighter.
You turn this weak boy into a fighter.
A praise unto my God up above.
Most people hurt me, you show me love.

I talk for hours with you.
You ask me who she is.
I cant realize this is true.
I only know you're his.
Do you need to know my mirage?
Do you even have to ask?
Are you real, are you here,
Will you stay, Are you gone,
Will I hurt, How long will this last?

Letting My Love Slip

2005-06-15T22:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not that brave or adaptable of a boy.
Your breathing scared me amply brainless last night.
Your words have not stopped haunting me since the phone
Receiver went cold and my ruthless crusade lost the fight.
Just what was it that walked into my psyche?
Was it the screaming of grief or pure insanity?
I command life to turn back the way that it was.
Our friendship must survive or my battle is lost.

Watch me run with your scissors.

Welcome to my broken judgment.
I beg of you don’t hold it against me.
Don’t hold it against me. I’m begging you, please.
Welcome to my busted judgment!
I beg of you don’t hold it against me.
Don’t hold it against me. I’m begging you.

My only reason for wounding you was that I
Feel that my manner simply endangered our bond.
Coasting turns to clutching now that I know
How quite smoothly friends go down the pipes once you lose your control.
How could I have opened my mouth so blindly?
Why not halt to ponder all the waves I would stir?
Don’t allow my foolishness to divide us.
Our friendship must survive or my battle is lost.

Hold the phone at your side till I call you.
I vow I will not let you down any longer.
Don’t give up on me even if I do.
You can rest in the design of our incredible triumph.

Welcome to my broken judgment.
I beg of you don’t hold it against me.
Don’t hold it against me. I’m begging you, please.
Welcome to my futile judgment!
I beg of you don’t hold it against me.
Don’t hold it against me.
Don’t hold it against me.

Dry Repetition No Longer

2005-06-15T00:03:00.000-04:00

I will rescue you darling, and take you far off
To a place without end, a place without pain,
Where steam rises as the sun sets behind water.
In the rain I will have a new family.
On the coast you will look on our daughter in love, and without his malice.
All your heart will be free, you'll not mourn her death.
I will save you and bring you to me.
Should you push away I will embrace you, I will love you with the soul of the sea, And place anything of mine between you and the soil of the earth.
You will suffer by your heart no longer and my heart will bleed for yours.
I will give you what he could not. I will show you what you deserve to see.

Solace

2005-02-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

Do you feel the pain inside your wrists?
Let it out.
Do you hear my words? Do you hear my voice?
Shut them out.
Am I getting through to you dear? Am I holding your frivolous fear?

My name is Solace.
My name is Solace.
My aim is anything making this peacefull and quiet,
But for right now,
My name Is Sollace

Do you justify your anger with torment?
Lying now.
Do you need the smiles handed over to you?
Hate them now.
Are noises grappling on to your heart? Are whispers grinding down on your heart?

My name is Solace.
My name is Solace.
My aim is anything making this peacefull and quiet,
But for right now, My name Is Sollace

Hush, hush darling. Hush, hush for now. Hush, hush, hush, hush, hush, hush, hush.

Solace - Dear Jack,